Chicago

This morning it is raining. It feels like fall is coming, but I know we have a few more weeks to go. However, when the seasons change, I find that I grow increasingly homesick for the place I grew up. I miss Chicago, I really do. I don't miss certain things, like not seeing the sun for weeks on end in the winter, or traffic, or not being able to find parking anywhere. But I do miss the way the city looked when the seasons changed. I miss autumn there, the crispness, the heavy trees turning different shades of gold, orange, and red. I miss the sounds of people on the street, walking, shopping, running. I miss the buildings, a city where you always find something new to look at. I loved the Wrigley building, right before getting to the river and the bridge. I have so many memories of Chicago. So many secrets and little moments are tucked away there.

 I know I am still a city girl at heart and there are times I just long for more movement and diversity than I find here. Don't get me wrong, I love Colorado. The mountains and nature and the weather here are incredible. I know if I left I would miss it sorely. It has been almost 6 years now since I have been in Chicago. 6 years. So much in my life has changed, I have changed. But when I think of home, home in the deepest part of me, I still see myself at 871 S. Third Ave. I see myself walking, walking, walking downtown. I am catching the EL train or sipping coffee somewhere by a window, people watching. Mark and I talk about going back for a visit sometimes. We talk about the places we would go, all that I would show him. I would love that, I need that!

Sometimes I feel as if I need closure for that time in my life. All of my growing up, college, and later. I never really said goodbye to my childhood home or to any of the places that I loved so much. My last visit 6 years ago, my parents were selling the house, but at the time  I was  so enamored with my new life in Denver that I just let it wash past me. I thought I was done there and that I would never look back. But I have looked back, and now with fondness I realize how blessed I was, and how much I loved my childhood. How opportune and unique it was to go to college in the city. When people here ask me where I am from I always say Chicago, because somehow that will always seem like home to me, even if I am here in Colorado for the rest of my life.