On Waiting...and Contentment too

A few months ago I broke down and bought a Beth Moore devotional. I say broke down because I can be prideful and act as if I am above devotionals especially if they are written by famed members of contemporary Christian culture. So really I have nothing against Beth Moore, just against jumping into a fad or something like that. But I jumped, and I am glad I did. Today has been one of those days where not only is it a Monday but I feel acutely overwhelmed and frustrated. I hate that so many things can suddenly feel out of control and that I can't change and fix everything all by myself. Discontentment is this slow poison that I let seep into my heart and mind. I often want to let it run rampant just so I can feel justified in the way I approach daily life.
 Today I read in my Beth Moore devotional that "...One of the most common human experiences is the inability for us to be completely satisfied."  She later writes, "Christians can be miserably dissatisfied if they accept Christ's salvation yet reject the fullness of a daily relationship that satisfies."
OK Beth, I get it, loud and clear. So this is daily relationship with God is hard for me and I am guessing there are others out there who feel similarly. A daily relationship with anyone is hard. Giving and taking, sacrificing and receiving and choosing to love when you don't feel like it is not easy. Walking daily in relationship with God means that I let go of things that I want to control, that I talk to him about my fears and frustrations. It means that I let him in to those dark and secret places in my heart and mind, those places so often laced with discontent. I love that dear 'ole Beth describes a daily relationship as something that offers "fullness" and "satisfaction." I cannot today, wrap my mind around those concepts.
 So here's the thing, the kicker for me. I have to wait and let God bring me closer to him. I have to wait in this funky space I am in and let God speak to me and walk me back to Him. I can't do it on my own. I am tired of thinking I can handle everything, because I fail every. single. time. I want to learn about being content in God, in his promises to be faithful and trustworthy. Faithful and trustworthy, two things I can only discover in relationship with God. So I am ready God, let's go.