Why I am thankful for Bears

There are Bears in the neighbors tree today. BEARS as in more than one! I feel like a bonafide Coloradoan today folks. I was trying to get some good shots but I don't have any photography skills and my camera is one of those point and shoot ones so the bears look like black smudges in the trees. But I promise there are bears next door, happily napping about 30 feet off the ground. You will just have to take my word for it okay?

Our new neighbor (there are
2 more not pictured)

I know this may sound strange but I was happy to hear about the bears this morning. Yesterday was not of the best days of my and Mark's life together. We were talking about money and budgets and all those things that make me want to pull out tufts of hair and run around screaming. We have a hard time seeing eye-to-eye on money and budgeting and of course we both have our own baggage we insist on dragging into every conversation. Let's make one thing clear: I LOVE my husband. We are committed to each other and to our family and future together. Like most couples we argue about dumb things like taking out the trash or the "correct way" (totally Mark's thing) to load the dish-washer. I don't know what other couple's trigger points are, but ours are usually in the finance department. I hate, hate, hate having an issue where I can't see Mark, I mean really see him, his heart and soul in the midst of things. It is as if we keep looking past each other instead of at each other. Each of us have some sort of hill we would like to die on thank you very much and we don't want to budge. I get bent out of shape afraid that life will always be hard and money will always be the obstacle to keep it from getting easier. And maybe that is true. I think it is true for most people rich or poor. But I don't want to get into that discussion right now.

  Last night after the fight we went to bed really tired and argued-out. We were both feeling a little disconnected from each other, kind of sad and exhausted. It took me awhile to fall asleep, I kept hoping and praying that nothing had changed and that our love was still in tact. This morning Mark woke up for his early Friday morning breakfast with a friend, and he did something that reminded me of who he is. He got Ben up, gave him a bottle, made coffee, and took Ben to breakfast so I could sleep in and have my coffee when I was ready. He did all of that, the same as he always would fight or no fight, for me, because he loves me and is always thinking of my needs. He came home later and took me outside to see the bears in the trees and we both laughed and smiled together, and somehow our hearts felt lighter again.
What I am trying to say is that those moments in the midst of a dark and frustrating argument where you both feel a little lost, are not the truth, the center of your relationship. I really believe it is what happens later, afterwards that matters. It does not mean all our fears and anxieties about money or whatever problem are resolved. They definitely are still there.We are a work in progress, there is much for us learn and re-visit about this issue. But I think that you can come out the other side of something hard and still remember why you love and cherish that person. I want to be more like Mark, he reminds me each day that his love for me is not based upon whether I always fight fair or if we have a bad day, or if I am overly emotional etc. He loves me because he has chosen me and believes in the vows we made to each other on our wedding day. Mark makes me think about God and how He takes on all of our anger and fear. He absorbs all the blows and punches we throw his way, and he still loves us. He is still true and real and unchanging toward us.

I think those bears are still up in the tree ( I hope that they stay there and don't come charging toward my house) and I am going to take them as a sign that there is always something new each day, something beautiful and awe-inspiring to discover. I am thankful that this morning Mark and I could have that sort of moment together.