I love a Saturday day and night in. I took two naps and only made it out for coffee and some groceries. It has been awhile since our last plans-free weekend, and we need more of them! Ben played outside and watched his dad rake up all the fall leaves. I love having time to see him discover new things and find wonder in simple pleasures like green grass and sunshine.
We took a nice walk through our funky neighborhood and commented on all the houses that looked normal as in not ones that look condemned or like they have meth labs inside or houses with 5 or 6 old cars parked on the lawn. This neighborhood can be iffy but its mostly full of blue collar hard-working people. I think I saw one house with a BMW parked in front, but it must have been someone visiting or someones fancy lawyer. Toyota is fancy here, maybe even Ford if its a model made after 1999. The one thing I love about this neighborhood is all of the mature trees. I can handle things being a little droopy if there are nice trees, the kind whose branches bow and sway in the wind with the sun shining through. Let me just say it was a gorgeous evening, one for the books.
This was a good day for processing through all my earlier madness. Mark told me I needed to cool it and stop obsessing and its true. We have a wonderful life, its full and blessed. For me to choose to live in constant anxiety over something I cannot control is like a slap in the face to God. I am telling him that all I have is not enough, or is not good enough for me. So I am taking my fictional "chill pill" ( I took the real kind after having Ben and it wasn't pretty), warm baths and good books always help. Nights in by the fireplace with my husband, smiles and giggles from my son. Long walks in the early evenings and dinner with good friends. I hope someday I will have another child to share this blessed life with, but that is up to God and his perfect timing. I can rest in that.
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